Talk
I cannot stress enough how important it is to talk with your children. Notice the words ‘talk with,’ which contrast with ‘talk to.’
Talking with your children means having a conversation, whereas talking to them implies a one-sided discussion in which one party talks and the other listens.
Beginning a conversation with children early (that is, early in their lives) means holding a one-sided talk until language has developed sufficiently for them to respond. The payoff will be huge. You’ll share the correct spoken language with your child. Also, you’ll lay the groundwork for the years when conversation becomes tricky.
I’m talking here about those pesky teenage years when boys, especially, seem to lose the ability to communicate using something more than grunts and head movements.
It’s all about the routine. Establish it early. By the way, it’s never too late, even if you have a non-verbal teen lurking behind a closed bedroom door.
Set high expectations. Engage them with questions that require more than a yes or no answer. This strategy works equally well with younger children.
Also, it’s best to avoid the ever-present: ‘How was school today?’ Although yes or no won’t answer it, you’ve left the door open for a shrug or a single-word response.
If you need a starting place and school is the obvious choice, try one of these:
What did you enjoy most/least in math today?
Where did you spend your lunch break?
How was Ms/Mr XYZ today? I heard from another parent they were sick last week.
Yes, you may receive questions in response (why are you asking?) but stick with it.
