Practical Persuasion

Parenting is a beautiful journey, but it’s not without its challenges. Children, like adults, exhibit a wide range of behaviours. From stubbornness to destructiveness, these behaviours are more common than you think.

The range of coping strategies is similarly vast. Many work in the short term, but more fail, and unwanted behaviours return. Dozens of books have explored the reasons why this is. Children test boundaries. They will step over it as soon as they know where you’ve drawn the line.

Your bid to rein them in comes down to two things. Are you looking for compliance or cooperation? Both are acceptable, but the underlying behaviour won’t change. Adjusting behaviour is the long-term game here.

Our personality drives our behaviour. Young children have personalities. Twin siblings can look alike but have personalities that are poles apart. A set of personality traits drives each, which, in turn, influences their behaviour.

External forces can bring about cooperation and/or compliance, but to adjust behaviour, you must tap into the internal drivers.

That means taking your game to a whole new level. It means talking with your child instead of at them. Offering rewards is part of the game, but it’s not the game. A reward system is an external force. You’re after the internal forces that motivate them.

Talking with your child will unlock a treasure house of information about what drives them—asking ‘why’ questions is a great place to start. Let’s call it practical persuasion.

More to come …