Obstinacy

We parents have rubbed shoulders with the ‘O’ word–an obstinate person. Each one of us displays it. Each time we stare at something unpleasant, it appears. Adults are great at making excuses:

‘I’m too busy …’

‘I don’t have time …’

‘That’s not in my job description …’

These statements may seem like procrastination, but they often mask a deeper obstinate stance. In young children, this often manifests as temper tantrums–a visible expression of their reluctance when they lack better means. As they grow, they learn to express their obstinacy in more refined ways. That seemingly reticent teen? They’re finding solace in their room, emerging only for necessities like food.

Obstinate behaviour blocks all other, more desirable behaviours. Try enjoying something creative when your brain has convinced you to do something else.

Creativity and imagination engage the entire brain. Obstinate behaviour, especially when you throw in anger, shuts off our access to that richness. An angry, obstinate brain is difficult to reach. Dealing with a child’s temper tantrum requires, above anything else, patience. Patience to let the anger fizzle.

The obstinate teen needs the same patience, which tends to run low when deadlines like leaving the house for school and work approach. And the reluctant teen is still in bed.

Are there ways to nudge the process along? Well, yes, stay tuned for practical persuasion.