Participate

How are those listening skills? Remember, listening is different from hearing. We hear things all the time, but our brains are good at picking what we listen to. Listening requires a focused brain–a brain that participates instead of sitting on the sidelines.

Listening takes an active brain.

I was at a concert last week. The performer (there was only one) played guitar and sang songs that he’d written. The audience was small, about 100 people. Of those 100 people, about 70 of them heard him sing, but they weren’t listening.

Wow! Seventy per cent of the audience wasn’t listening? How do I know? Because many people were talking.

Spoiler alert: we cannot talk and listen at the same time. That’s why people take turns in a conversation. One person speaks while the other listens, and then the second person speaks. Each takes a turn. If the conversation is important, the non-speaking person will think about what to say when it’s their turn.

A conversation where both people speak at once is more likely an argument. Arguments aren’t conversations. There isn’t too much thinking going on. And there is barely any listening. Each person just wants to make their point.

I met the performer after his concert. I thanked him for his music and asked him if it bothered him that people talked while he played. He said he heard them but didn’t listen to them.